


Privacy

by GiaG



Series: We need to talk [3]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Funny, I hope, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 14:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10641432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiaG/pseuds/GiaG
Summary: ——Sorry guys. Date night.——BROS!——BEFORE!!——HOES!!!





	

#

April 13

**Magnus → Isak, Jonas, Mahdi**

(7:23pm)

 **Magnus** : Do you know that cheetahs are not capable of running at highest speed for more than fifteen seconds?

because their tiny little brains can't sustain the temperature elevated by running

 

 **Mahdi** : really?

so what, they stop to take a rest every fifteen seconds?

 

 **Magnus** : exactly

otherwise they'll literally burn to death

 

 **Jonas:** how do you know about this?

 

 **Magnus** : documentary

that's right suckas, I watch doc, and learn!

 

 **Mahdi:** chill man, nobody said anything

 

 **Magnus** : believe me, I can sense your judgments from AIR

or radio waves in it

is that what messages are transferred through?

 

 **Jonas:** keep watching docmentaries and you'll find out

 

 **Magnus:** YOU BET I WILL SMARTASS

anyway

I kinda feel sorry for these poor things

 

 **Mahdi:** who? cheetahs?

 

 **Jonas:** why? because they're the fastest animals walking on earth and can kill you with one slap?

 

 **Magnus:** good point

but no

can you imagine how horrible their sex must be like?

I bet the lady cheetahs out there never have a decent orgasm in their entire lives

they're like, okay, there you go, ten seconds, done

 

 **Mahdi:** wow, didn't see that coming

but I think their intercourses are just for inproduction?

as long as the dudes goal in, I don't think the ladies give much shit about time

or pleasure

 

 **Magnus:** huh

interesting

what about the gay cheetahs?

I'm sure they don't do it for baby

BTW where's Isak?

 

 **Jonas:** according to Even's ins, they're having dinner in some fancy restaurant

with candles&flowers&all

 

 **Mahdi:** how could you possibly still following him?

 

 **Jonas:** what do you mean?

they're cute

 

 **Magnus:** in a disgusting way

 

 **Isak:** ...you know I'm in this group right?

 

 **Magnus:** oh here you are

okay, tell me my friend

do you admit that your intercourses with someone of your own sex is in persuit of sheer joy?

 

(6min later)

 **Magnus** : uhm, maybe it's not explicit enough for you to answer

let me try another way

did you ever have orgasm during your sexual experiences with men?

 

(3min later)

 **Isak:** *MAN

singular

only Even

*orgasmS

plural

and I won't dignify your question with an answer

 

 **Magnus** : awww don't be shy

it's nice to share knowledge with your friends

I'm so proud of you

 

 **Isak** : it's not knowledge

it's privacy

you dumbass

 

 **Magnus:** it's possible that cheetahs consider their endurance problem as privacy too

but people find out anyway

you know why?

 

 **Mahdi:** because people put cameras on them all day long?

 

 **Magnus** : no, because IT'S DAMN HARD TO NOT NOTICE!

 

 **Isak** : notice what?

 

 **Magnus** : they stop running every fifteen seconds!

scroll up your messages man it's right there

 

 **Jonas** : no Magnus he means what did you notice about HIM

 

 **Magnus** : oh

right

sorry

I mean the obscene sound you make IN PUBLIC when you talk with him!

THE HICKEYS ALL OVER YOUR BODY!!

and in case you don't know you can use foundation to cover them

like the make up

Vilda shew me once, it's freaking magic

now I use it to cover my pimples

 

 **Isak:** well, Even may find it useful but

fine by me

I don't have anything to hide

 

 **Magnus:** that's what I'm talking about bro!

you feel comfortable with your relationship , right?

you like to show off your intimacy

 

 **Isak:** excuse you?

I just can't help being close with him okay?

not showing off

nah

 

 **Mahdi:** you can't hear me but I snorted

aloud

 

 **Isak:** okay

maybe a little?

 

 **Jonas:** it's not a bad thing

you guys are cute

and definitely not in a disgusting way

 

 **Isak:** thank you J

 

 **Magnus:** whatever

all I wanna say is that if you don't want me to ask, sure, I'll never ask again, it's fine

 

 **Mahdi:** I'm sensing a but here

 

 **Magnus:** BUT

I don't want you to get the wrong idea that there's something "private" that you can't talk with us

we are bros, dude

we talk about EVERY-F*KING-THING

 

 **Jonas:** he's right you know

we don't want that "family meetings" incident happens again, do we?

 

 **Isak:** no we don't

thanks bros

I appreciate it

 

 **Magnus:** good

now let's officially start talking about Isak's sex life

 

 **Mahdi:** objection!

let's talk about yours

as a straight single man I find yours more tempting

 

 **Jonas:** seconded

 

 **Isak:** thirded

 

 **Mahdi:** 3 to 1

BRING IT MAGNUS!

 

(4min later)

 **Jonas:** hello?

 

 **Isak:** did you die?

 

(7min later)

 **Magnus:** hey guys this is Vilde

me and this shithead have something negotiation to do right now

talk to you later <3

 

(2h43min later)

 **Magnus:** next time she took my phone

CALL POLICE

 

 **Mahdi:** oh you're alive!

good night then

 

 **Jonas:** night

see you tomorrow

 

 **Magnus:** you'll be punished for your betrayals

be afraid

be very afraid

 

(32min later)

 **Isak:** good night

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native English speaker blahblah...  
> Check the first one of this series.  
> I'm too lazy to ctrl+c&v.


End file.
